Finding Calm in the Midst of Chaos
It might sound crazy, but meditating has become my most favorite thing to do! Becoming completely silent, slowing down the pace of my mind and my day, being alone and listening. It’s the most perfect way to start my day.
The only problem is, I hardly have any alone time with all these people I live with. So while I meditate every day, I don't always keep my meditation to a once-a-day, morning habit.; instead I might meditate in smaller increments throughout the day. Mini meditations are a great way to center myself when I feel the need to reset or restart.
As a mom of three, a perfect example of a time when I feel frustration bubbling up is around dinnertime. It seems like every time I’m in the kitchen making dinner the circumstances are very similar—all three kids come in and try to talk to me at once. I’m juggling all the kitchen tools, trying to keep an eye on the stove while someone asks me about a homework assignment or something they need for the next day. Trying to stay calm and positive, keeping an upbeat attitude—I’m all good, I’ve got this all together. Another child (who has been home with me for approximately four hours) decides now is the perfect time to talk about a dramatic friend dilemma at school. This takes all of my listening energy because there are so.many.details. I realize I’m famished and that might be contributing to my lack of patience. The clock is ticking and I know the end of the day is drawing near. This makes me feel both relieved (I’m “mom tired”) and also a little anxious (still so much still to do). It feels as though the kitchen is closing in on me. I’m HOT.
This is the perfect storm. I don’t want to lose my patience or temper or say something I’ll later regret. I want to be calm, cool and collected. But that doesn’t happen without some effort! A breathing exercise is quick and instantly results in me focusing on the task at hand and prioritizing my attention. What's important is taking a moment to pause and choose how to move forward, breaking the negative cycles we might find ourselves in throughout the day.
So how can you create your own version of self-soothing? Let’s explore some helpful practices outlined below. I don’t necessarily think one is better than the other. Just think of these exercises as tools in your toolkit. Try them out and see what works best for you as you identify your needs and find ways to meet them.
A mini-meditation might look like three to five deep, intentional breaths. As I do this, I signal to my body to reset. Let any tension fall away from my shoulders. Sense any messages my body is trying to send me. Recognize how I’m feeling, what emotions are important at this moment. Dig a little deeper to see if there is anything else that needs my attention. Notice clearer thoughts and a more relaxed body. Re-enter life.
Use one of these breath practices:
*Cycle through five to eight times to reset your nervous system before resuming your busy life.
Square breathing
Inhale for the count of 4
Hold the breath for the count of 4
Exhale for the count of 4
Hold for the count of 4
Triangle Breathing
Inhale in for the count of 4
Hold the breath for the count of 4
Exhale for the count of 4
4/7/8 Breathing
Inhale in for the count of 4
Hold the breath for the count of 7
Exhale for the count of 8
We lead busy lives. The goal with mindfulness practices is to weave them into your family, work and life so that it becomes practical and possible, even in the midst of chaos. I’m here to support and guide you.
All my best,
Jen
